Combating Health and Science with 20 mg of Satire

Amateur Gene Researcher Regrets Ignorance of Homonyms

Aerospace Engineer Fired after Comparing Mars Expedition to 8 Months Trapped in a Ford Fiesta

Study Finds Nitrous Oxide Gateway Drug to Dental Work

Amateur Gene Researcher Regrets Ignorance of Homonyms
“You Fight Covid Your Way, I’ll Fight it Mine,” Says Bad Boy of Music Therapy
Chuck Kapowski, Santa Monica’s bad boy of music therapy, recently scoffed at the shelter in place order which has been extended through...
Confused Medical Resident “Pumped” to Be Reassigned to “Corona Tents”
Daniel Willis, a medical resident with Baton Rouge General, said he was super pumped to hear he was being reassigned from his usual...
NASA’s Chief Astrologer Cancels Shuttle Launch With Mercury in Retrograde
Balthasar Clemens, NASA’s Chief Astrologer, cancelled a scheduled shuttle launch after noting the inauspiciousness of the timing, given...
Ancient 90’s Artifact Discovered Alongside Cypress Hill CD
An archeological team in the Central Valley made an exciting discovery last Thursday. The team, led by Stanford’s Ian Mills, uncovered an...
Dreamy-eyed Southerner Thinks Longingly of Good Old Days When Pellagra was King
Louisiana native, Tracy Hebert, was lost in thought Tuesday, as she dreamed of living during the good old Southern days when pellagra was...
Dangerous California Weed Strain Makes Jam Bands Sound Good
A dangerous weed strain coming out of the Humboldt, California area is having very serious side-effects on consumers. The Sugar Magnolia...
Nation's Lice Celebrate Start of School Year
After months of deprivation, deafening cheers and applauds filled the nation’s classrooms as America’s lice celebrated the start of the...
Prehistoric Cave Painter Charged with Graffiti and Defacing a Rock, Ancient Records Show
A police record dating back 17,000 years was found Tuesday at an archeological site near the Lascaux Cave in the Dordogne region of...
Satan Enraged by Climate Change as Hell's Worker's Say 'Too Hot to Torture'
The Prince of Darkness has issued a harsh rebuke to those he deems responsible for climate change. Though once an ardent supporter for...
Source of Mars Methane Gas Discovered
The unknown source of Mars methane gas, which has for weeks confounded scientists, was discovered Wednesday. Surveillance footage taken...
Stinkhorn Mushroom Proclaims Itself Sexiest Fungus Alive
Despite the fact that voting has not yet begun for Mycology Today's coveted 'Sexiest Mushroom Alive', the stinkhorn has boldly proclaimed...
Churnobyl Butter Promises to Bring the Taste of the Exclusion Zone to You
SATYRA, Ukraine—A local dairy company has made headlines this week for its new butter variety made exclusively from cows living within...
Man Seeks Mental Health Counseling After Discovering His Look Went Out of Style Two Years Ago
A San Francisco man has sought the help of a mental health counselor after the discovery that his “signature look” actually went out of...
Harvard Researcher Accuses Pineal Gland of Hubris
In a recent interview published in Harvard Medical News, renowned neurobiologist Albert Winston accused the pineal gland of hubris. The...
Immune Cells Slammed for Bigoted Response After Assault Charges
The two killer T-cells, arrested on assault charges, are being slammed for their bigoted response to Monday’s incident. The immune cells...
Tech Nerd’s Embrace of Psychedelics Lowers Drug’s “Cool” Factor, Study Shows
The recent tech nerd trend of using LSD as a means of enhancing creativity and productivity is lowering the drug’s cool factor says a...
Tesla Introduces Monster Truck: “The Juicer”
SATIRE, CA- After months of public speculation surrounding Tesla’s newest model, Elon Musk finally unveiled his newest creation, a...
An Unlikely Challenger Advances in the SpaceX Hyperloop Pod Competition
Project Frontier, from the Mountain Meadow University, has just advanced to the final round in the SpaceX Hyperloop Pod Competition....
Ignoring Pointer Sisters' Warning, Nuclear Plant Burns Doing the Neutron Dance
Cooling tanks at a California nuclear power plant caught fire Monday, after staff failed to heed a combustibility warning issued by the...





















