Churnobyl Butter Promises to Bring the Taste of the Exclusion Zone to You

SATYRA, Ukraine—A local dairy company has made headlines this week for its new butter variety made exclusively from cows living within the restricted Chernobyl Exclusion Zone. Churnobyl, the butter with the noble churn, promises delicious flavor along with a healthy dose of Cesium 137. The butter is only available onsite to those touring the compound. “Nothing can leave the Exclusion Zone,” said head churner Danylo Koval, “We wanted all those visiting to be able to take home a piece of the magic.”